Mobility

While I wouldn't want it to be a primary home base, I'd like to have a trailer to haul us and the dogs around in. Maybe a popup camper. Something that can make an overnight visit to the Everglades or a week's trip up the coast. I'd drive west to see a desert sunrise again and a bonfire on a Pacific beach. It's nice having roots, but I like mobility almost as much.

Elements

I was the leader of the elemental army. I fought until the gods of the water arrived to wash away the enemy with broad swaths of current. The earth erupted in rock formations to shake off advancing forces like fleas. But still I forgot my pack on the ferris wheel and no one believed who I was. I was tempted to leave completely and start over somewhere else. Is it their fault they're mired in bureaucracy? Why should I try so hard to help them if they can't see through the webbing they're bound by? There's so much potential but they've forgotten who they really are.

Chaos

Before a great vision can become reality there may be difficulty. Before a person begins a great endeavor, they may encounter chaos. As a new plant breaks the ground with great difficulty, foreshadowing the huge tree, so must we sometimes push against difficulty in bringing forth our dreams. Out of chaos, brilliant stars are born.

prophecy

I've never had a prophetic dream, which is a relief, given the magnitude of violence in my head while I'm asleep. Sometimes I'm the killer, sometimes an observer. I'm rarely the one being attacked. I used to keep dream journals trying to find a pattern and how it related to what was happening in my life at the time. I gave up, never finding a correlation. When things are great, I have nightmares. When they're not, I have nightmares. I haven't had the adrenaline-firing night terrors in a while, though. I don't miss those. It's hard to tell what's real and what's a dream at that point. I'll always have at least one dog to raise the alarm in case what I think is a dream is real. If they're not concerned, then it's all in my head.

Sweet

Now for something sweeter. We made citrusy cinnamony sourdough French toast on Sunday, way more than we could eat for breakfast. The extras went into the freezer. Now a piece of that, thawed and toasted with blackberry jam, makes for a grinning Mouse. Ah, deep breath with some sugar and caffeine on the side.

And this. You should see this. According to the review of the Goats in Trees 2011 calendar:

Having purchased goats in trees calendars for the last 10 years, I must say they really outdid themselves this year. I mean these trees are full of goats! I know some people reading this review might be wondering, "why do I need more than 1-2 GPT? (goats per tree for those new to goat in tree (GIT) community", but I assure you when it comes to trees, more goats is better.

No.

I can't say it any simpler than that. If you want more clarification, how about, no matter how much time passes between whatever dysfunctional relationship that was, we will *never* be cool. Sure, my big loving heart forgives you for being a churlish violent fucktard, but I'm still armed and prone to being twitchy. Onward.

Comments

As soon as I convince myself that people are basically good and want to do the right thing, I read the comments under newspaper stories online and realize I'm mistaken. I guess it's easier to be a petty, self-righteous asshat.